So you want to move abroad but in the same time you have a pretty good life now and you are wondering: is it worth the risks? Let’s try to answer this question together!
First of all let me say this: You being afraid to move abroad? Totally normal! Your fear is not an indication that this is a bad idea or that you are not sure!
What risky means for you?
Let’s talk about risk, let’s define what risky means to you because risk it’s different and it feels different for every person.
For example, for me risky is never experienced new sensations, places, feelings, I feel that I am not living, that life is not worth living in this way.
For my partner Flavius, risk is something more palpable, like loosing the job, the income he has now, not having his own home or overall, just making a bad decision. He prefers not to make any decision than making a bad one. So, I think this is more like you are feeling, right?
Leave it in a comment, are you a Luiza or a you a Flavius type of person? 😊
What is happening is that a lot of people have a great life in their own country, have great salaries, have great positions at work, and this makes it very hard to just leave everything, risk everything and just go. Even for me it was!
Everybody feels the waters differently
Afraid to move abroad = the fear of unknown
And then it’s this fear of unknown – of a new and completely different life, new customs, new people. Would I be liked there, would I make friends, would I be able to integrate in that society?
Not everybody has the ability or are aware of the possibility to brake trough their conditioning and make a conscious decision to choose what is best for them (conditioning is what our parents and our grandparents taught us, their values, their hopes and dreams, their fears – without any connection with our experience).
And even if we do succeed to brake our conditioning, it’s hard to accept that we are different! We don’t want to be different, we are so used to belong. Being different is scary and hard. Even if we discover that we are different, we are just choosing to ignore what is best for us and chose what everybody else is doing.
What to do until you make up your mind?
With all these issues, it’s clear that the pros and cons to move to another country are going to be different and very personal for each and every one of you. And it is going to take you some time to decide, weight everything. And in the mean time you are going to be feeling afraid to move abroad!
So what can you do in the mean time and how to deal with the fear that is holding you back and prevent you to see thing clearly? Because time waits for no one and I am all about let’s not just waste time, what can I do until I make up my mind?
Book a flight and visit the place
You read about a place on the internet, watch videos, but it’s not the same. I am telling you from my own experience, it’s not the same. Go and see the place for yourself. Your personal impression and assessment, how you feel in that place it’s what matters. Don’t let other people experience ruin your potential one. Remember, we are all different, and we see things trough our own life experience, that can be limited or totally different. Just because I see things one way, it doesn’t make it true for you, only for me.
And while you are there, don’t treat it like a vacation, try to see the place from a local perspective. Go into the supermarkets, take notes of the prices, see some apartments (and meet the realtors, that’s going to be fun!), eat not only at the touristy places, but at the places in the neighborhood you will like to live. Sample the life you are thinking of having there.
Feel the place for yourself
Don’t worry about the children
The children are often our biggest fear. We want to do what we think it’s best for them. But what we think now it’s best for them, is it going to serve them 20 years from now, in a world we don’t even imagine? They are going to live in a total different world than us, so what we think it’s best, might not be in fact that.
And all things aside, they are adaptable and they are not conditioned (YET) by your values and fears so they will take everything as it is. Good or bad.
We are stronger than our parents. Our children are stronger than us.
– I said that too –
Ask the opinion of likeminded people
This is a stressful situation and a period of uncertainty. You need the expertise and the confidence of people who are going trough the same things as you are, who are having the same doubts, fears and goals in life. Well, maybe not in that particular order! 🙂 But it’s important to have a conversation with another human being that was or is afraid to move abroad. It’s going to make you fell normal.
Hearing about their success and their failures it will make this experience more approachable for you. I mean, we see the life of these people on Instagram or YouTube (from afar) and we think that it’s perfect. Either they had a lot of money, or they are confident people, or they had some sort of luck in life. Hearing real stories debunks those myths and you will discover they are people just like us, with problems, fears, limitations. And this gives you confidence, this makes you say: well, this means I can do it to!
Share the experience with someone that understands and supports your dreams
Don’t tell anyone about your plans until they are definitive or even better – executed
Listen, you have enough fears and doubts, you don’t need someone else’s conditioning on top of your own! And I know you are going to say, how am I going to find likeminded people if I don’t tell anyone about my plans?
Well, we kind of know in advance how the people around us are going to react to news. So you know what your family or your best friends are going to say about this new idea of yours of moving abroad. If you think is going to be a bunch of negative stuff, best to keep this for yourself for now.
About finding other people who think the same as you: on the internet, is simple, use the search button! In real life I suggest you just casual talk about the subject without any reference to yourself, something like “I read an article about Portugal, they say it’s nice to live there” and you will know instantly their opinion.
Also check out the Lifestyle section on the blog, for more info about life in Portugal.